Ralph’s first exercise

img_1913Ralph Castillo had always enjoyed entertaining people with stories. I didn’t matter if the stories were his or not…but if those stories by him, those were his favorites.

T​he tales of the ancient mythologies intrigued him. By far, his favorite reading matter – he devoured the books in his library on Greek, Roman, Norse and Egyptian myths. Characters for creating his own pantheon are strong in his bubbling pot of ideas.

H​e used to be rebellious and anti-establishment. His friend Becky is correct about him changing. The time in the Army around order and discipline will leave a person craving those. Hopefully not to the extent that one must abandon all childhood fantasies. Not that he doesn’t have his adult dreams. And not that he has lost his creativity. But we must all grow up.

H​e loves his family. His kids and grand kids. But he didn’t realize how much he would miss his siblings and parents until he went away. He would not have exchanged his opportunity to see the world and its deep cultures. But he would have planned better, and he would have swallowed pride and pettiness, to support peace…and promote better relationships. Specifically with his wife and his father.

Life didn’t end on a sour note with his father, but he missed out on a lot by not being proactive and communicating better. This month, his father would have turned seventy-six. And it nags at the back of his mind not to be able to share more with Julio Castillo (his father). He would have been so happy to share all his genealogical research with his father. Before his death, Julio was working to reestablish his relationship with his own father and sisters. An odd turn here. Ralph’s father and grand father both had strokes and it’s become a concern for Ralph to discover any significance to his own health.

H​e did love his wife with all his heart when they were married. He thought that she would share that if he waited long enough. In her defense she did tell him that she wanted it to be more a friendship than like an actual exclusive marriage. Ralph agreed and that was the wrong reason for marriage. His understanding now is that people should marry out of love, not out of necessity. It’s easier now that he’s middle-aged and has no significant other in his life.

H​e has started back up on the online dating scene. We’ll have to see how that goes. A recent connection with a beautiful woman from a town an hour away. She shows some promise. But it’s been a couple of days. He asked for her number and most women who have spoken this much would have gone ahead and shared their phone numbers. He will hopefully be patient, because she seems to be worth waiting for.

Ralph is an aspiring writer. He wants to write the next Great American Novel. But baby steps, after all. If he can begin a freelance writing career, then he can probably get those creative juices flowing. Working ones imagination, is surely like working ones muscles. They get leaner and stronger…more buff as well?

These musings are an exercise for him. He doesn’t write in the third person when speaking of himself. That’s arrogant and childish. But for him, on this specific occasion, the idea is to be childish. To get back to basics. To teach himself to write again.